The Sailor’s Life and Job as Told by His Loved One
What do you think about a sailors’ life and the job? I am going to discuss that from the perspective of someone who has been a part of a sailor’s life and job for the last 6 years. Being married to a sailor gives me an inside look at this life. I would say the life of a sailor is more interesting than the lives of others with other occupations. If not interesting, then at least a little different.
There are two sides to any story. I’m sure that we all know about the perks of this job. However, I’ll give you a close-up look at this job by means of this article. In other words, I’ll talk about my personal experiences and thoughts about it.
When I first learned that my boyfriend is a merchant marine, my first reaction was, “wow.” I had no idea what a sailor’s life entailed, and was only fascinated by the words “merchant navy”.
Whenever I mentioned my boyfriend’s profession to friends, I would always get the same response I felt the first time I heard those two words. During that phase, I used to enjoy it very much. Typically, people look upon my boyfriend with respect and regard and I am seen as a lucky woman. However, over time, I became more aware of the actual picture.
I got a call from him after a couple of months. He said his company had told him to sail, and he had already received details on his flight. So, basically, he was doing his courses in the company these last few months. And, now he was ready to join.
Moreover, when I first heard from him about his joining I was sad but not much affected. Of course, I was with him for only a couple of months and I didn’t know the feeling of being apart from him. I didn’t know what was coming.
Most importantly, I had not yet met him in person and I had no idea how deeply I will fall in love with him through mails during his ten months of sailing. Yes, we could talk to each other only through emails. Phone calls happened only for 3 to 4 days a month.
This was just the beginning of this journey. I am married to him today. And, it is so hard for us each time he leaves for sailing. There are so many things apart from the distance we have to bear. Hence, without dwelling on too many details of the personal story, I’ll give you an overview of this job and life.
You have to get used to living your life without your sailor
Sailors spend more months in the sea than on land in the whole year. They have to sail for at least 6 months a year. However, sometimes it takes more or less than 6 months depending on the contract and company to company. Thus, if your family member is a sailor you would feel that he is not around for half of the year. You have to get used to spending most of your life without him or else you mourn the distance every single day.
Furthermore, it is even more difficult for sailors’ spouses to spend most of their life without them. They might end up feeling lonely which would of course make it difficult for them to live their daily life normally.
Special occasions without them
Since sailors sail in the sea for months, they miss out on many special occasions. You have to spend or celebrate your special days without them. They are not with you on occasions and festivals. For siblings or other family members it might not be that difficult but for a sailor’s wife or husband, it might be hard.
On your special day, you would want your spouse to be by your side more than anything or anyone else. Above all, how would you celebrate your birthdays, anniversaries, promotion parties, etc. without them? Is there anything you can do about it? No! You can’t! You simply have to get used to this life.
Your sailor is not there with you in case of an immediate emergency
Let’s be honest, sailors cannot rush to their homes in case of an immediate emergency or incident. Even if they sign off immediately, it might take them at least a few days to reach you at home. That’s how far they are from you for half of your life.
The risk of life at sea
Merchant Navy is one of the top risky jobs in the world. Though technology is improving every passing day, the risk is nevertheless always there. On a ship, even a small mistake can wreck everything. That itself shows the risk this job carries.
And, of course, sometimes you cannot fight and win against natural calamities as well. Although the risk of such things is less in modern times you can’t worry less for your loved one sailing in the sea for each second for months.
You feel your life stopped when the sailor is sailing
When they leave home and are off to sailing you would feel that your life has stopped. You do not know how to live without them during those months if your life completely revolves around them. Hence, being a sailor’s spouse you need to learn to live your regular life without him/her around you.
Moreover, you also need to be emotionally independent as the sailor is not physically there with you all the time or when you might need him/her the most.
Sudden joining and delay in sign off
Life in this job demands patience, mental & emotional strength. Firstly, when the sailors give readiness to the company for joining they never know as on what day the company is going to call them with the joining and flight details. It might be any day on a sudden occasion.
Similarly, when they have to sign off, there is no fixed date and day unless the flight details are out. So, you don’t know if the sign off is confirmed and exactly on what day unless they finally have the flight details with them. Thus, you need patience especially if there’s a delay in sign off.
Honestly, at the time of their sign-on, you don’t even get the time of mental preparation for their departure since the company calls for the joining on a sudden note. Therefore, you have to have mental and emotional strength.
The wait for the sailor to return home might not be easy for some
I think a sailor’s spouse has it more difficult to spend months and months without him. Every single day when you wake up finding him not next to you is painful. Then, getting up from bed and starting the day on your own feels like a pain for eternity.
Even a good moment or day without him makes you feel even lonelier. You miss him in every good and bad moment. And when you miss him the most and the thought of him being away from you for further uncountable days and months strikes in your mind, you feel a sharp knife piercing you so deep that you become numb with the pain.
Conclusion
In general, a sailor and his family have a difficult life considering how far and long they have to live without each other. Although not everyone will experience the same thing, we all have different lives. Therefore, every sailor and his family will have different experiences. It may seem irreparably long to you to wait for your sailor to return home. Even 3 months apart feels like an eternity to you. On the other hand, you may deal with a separation of ten months like any other thing. In other words, it really depends on who you are and what your life is.
Author: Simran K Parmar
A post graduate in English Literature, secular humanist, critical thinker, an outspoken atheist, follower of equality and a lover of philosophy. craftedfashion94@gmail.com
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