“Big boys don’t cry”
says the orthodox society, the society which has a set of ideas of how it except men and women to behave and present themselves. There are various misconceptions about masculinity that have been passed to each generation and presented as absolute truths. We have been disseminated this from a young age and any boy whom does not fit into these stereotypical concepts is virtually exiled from the male society.
In which book is it written that crying or expressing emotion is strictly a feminine concept?
Encouraging boys to suppress their feelings and be strong in every worse situation results in having damaging mental health in their later life. Psychologists explain that crying is a healthy way of expression of feelings such as sadness and disappointment. And if we tell boys to hide their emotions, they may begin to avoid these emotions which can later results to depression.
Usually we hear phrases such as “Mumma’s boy” for boys who expresses their emotions. Such stereotype phrases results in damaging their self-worth and belittle their self-image.
Boys grow into men are often seen to be less open about their feelings in comparison to women as they have a fear of getting judge.
Many researchers have also demonstrated that an individual’s gender plays an important role for differentiating between the emotions. Generally, women are believed to be more sensitive in comparison to men. But no research claims that a man who believes in expressing his emotion is weak. In an interview , the arguably greatest batsman Sachin Tendulkar said “There’s no shame in showing your tears. So why hide a part of you that actually makes you stronger?” He Later explained about his struggles and added that he grew up believing in this stereotype and his struggles and pains made him to introduce to his better part.
In these recent days, men of 21stcentury are believed to be more emotional than women. According to the poll of 2,004 Americans, men cry on an average about four times a month and on the other hand women cry at least three times in a given month. So, this clearly means the taboo which has been created by the orthodox society about men crying now seems inaccurate. Also, according to a survey, male respondents admits that they’d feel embarrassment or fear if their close ones find out they are going through a mental health therapy. Meantime, females are believed to be more open about such topics.
Men are accepted to be strong and emotionless. Boys are led to be more disconnected from these feelings. And thus, men are four times more likely to take their lives than women.
We cry because it is a healthy release for all of us. It helps us to self-soothe, releases chemical hormones like oxytocin, endorphins and stress releasing hormones. According to many researches crying is also considered to be attachment behaviour, encouraging bond and support from an individual’s closed one. Irrespective of the gender, everyone feels okay after they express their sadness or cry. It is high time that we should stop shaming men when they get open about their emotions or when they talk vulnerably. So don’t be hard on men who are opening up and expressing them, but celebrate it and encourage so they feel more comfortable while doing it. The more men are shamed about expressing their feeling and following those poor stereotypes, the more they’re going to wear a false face to adjust themselves as you want them to be.
Author: Nitin mittal
CA by qualification
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